So I think that I have been putting off blogging the last couple of days because I am afraid to actually stop and contemplate the fact that I am leaving in 11 days….am I really ready to leave?? And better yet, have I accomplished everything that I was supposed to while I was here?? Are there things that I should have done differently? Hmmm…am I ready to face these questions?
Lets start by getting you up to speed on life! The boys are now all ‘mostly’ happily in school, so this is good. The elections passed without any problems, so this is also good. The boys loved having a couple of days off of school, but now it is back to business!
On Saturday a team of people from Oakville came to The Sanctuary and helped us to finish up some of our projects. They painted our inside toilet room and shower room a sweet shade of blue. They also helped by putting down a layer of undercoat in the garage! BUT, the biggest task they accomplished was helping us to plant our grass. Mind you its only about 20% finished..but now that we’ve started the task seems less daunting. I am sad that I wont get to see the yard looking beautiful, but next time I come back I will have that to look forward to:)
It was really nice to have a whole group of hardworking mzungus come and help us out. I didn’t realize how much I was missing mzungu company. They were very interested in the boys, and loved hearing what God has been doing in their lives! Now I may be biased..but there is just something about these boys that draws people in. One of the men commented that he loved how much The Sanctuary felt like a home…not just another organization. And I think that that’s is
difference. These boys are each others family. They have been through things together that we can’t even imagine. They trust each other and know that even if they have a fight or argument, just like family they will always be there for each other.
Anyways, enough of that for now… the other excitement was the rat in the house. Now if you know me very well..you know that I have a huge irrational fear of mice…let alone
rats!!! If there is one thing that I am scared of most..it is a rodent! (I know…its silly…). BUT, non the less, I was sitting in the study room with David and Robert helping them to finish up their homework, when I look up and see the back half of a rat and its long tail running out of the room. I immediately put my feet up and try to remain calm..ish..:) I tell David to go get Henry NOW…Henry comes..and yes, with tears in my eyes (wow, I really am lame) I tell him that I CANNOT live in a house with rats…and we MUST do something. Lol. (can you say Drama Queen??) Anyways, he and Patrick go through every room trying to find the rat or any signs of rats…but come up with nothing. What can I do but just carry on…mind you that means being super paranoid as I walk through the house. About 45 minutes later I’m in my room getting some paperwork done when I hear shouting and hollering and chasing and things hitting the floor…the rat has come back…and this time it has 10 boys chasing after it! Despite the fact that it was a RAT that they were chasing..it really was a comical thing to listen to. About 5 minutes later victory was theirs…they had beat the rat with a broom! Lol. The next day when we were preparing the lawn for grass the found another one and quickly disposed of it…but not before one of the boys took it by its tail and brought it into the kitchen to dangle infront of me...ok, its funny now..but then it was NOT!! Although apparently all the boys thought that it was…lol. Oh dear…I guess that’s the joy of being the only girl in the house.
The last couple of weeks I’ve been finishing up taking out all the boys for dinner. (They have ALL become obsessed with the idea of going out to eat 'big fish'...we found a restaurant near our house that as the best inexpensive talapia EVER)...but thats not the point..lol..the point is that I love getting the chance to talk one on one with them! To hear their stories and find out more about what life was like growing up for them. Mind out it makes me so sad to hear what they had to go through, but when they talk about it…its more factual then anything. They aren’t looking for pity, its just how life was. Things like escaping from a children’s prison…or breaking their leg with no money to repair it are just part of life.
I guess one prayer request is for one of the boys who lost their mom recently (2 years ago maybe). He’s been having a difficult time at the house ,and so I was talking to him about his behaviour…and some how the conversation changed to how much I loved them, and I was there because God loves them too, and He called me to come and show His love to them. This led to talking about prayer, which led to a broken hearted boy telling me that God didn’t hear his prayers, or his mom’s…which is why she died. I talked to him more about it, and how sometimes we don’t understand why God doesn’t do like we ask Him to do, and that even though we don’t get it, we can trust that God knows best…it was so hard to watch him struggle to take it in…and try to understand…he left shortly after to go to bed…but please please pray from this boy.
So back to the reality that is coming..that I am leaving…am I ready? Well, on one side I AM ready to see my friends and family…to have some ‘normalcy’ back in life…to not kill 30 bugs a day or eat posho and beans every single day. I am ready to have my own place..and I’m ready to eat CHEESE! I am ready to be able to stop in at Tim Hortens whenever I choose…and I’m ready to have the freedom of going places when I want….What am I not ready for….not being there for the boys each morning before they go to school…not being there at the end of the day when they come home to ask them about their day…not being there to help David and Robert with their homework…not being there when they want to talk about their family, and something that is going on in their lives…not being there to teach them new things in the kitchen, or read bible stories with them….not being there sitting with them in church…not going to the market with them to buy whatever we need for the day….those are the things that bring tears to my eyes when I think about not being here.....
And I guess that is where I am at…excited to see family and friends at home, and knowing that is where God wants me to be for the time….but heartbroken at the thought of leaving these boys with no ‘mom’ figure….
Please pray for me in this time of mixed emotions….I got an email from a friend that said to ‘finish strong’…and that is what I am focused on doing. Enjoy every moment I have here…take it all in….continue to show them God’s love from them until the day I leave.
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